Ways to Self-Support

Let’s face it – no one is going to support us like we can. The onus is on us to provide true care for ourselves, often in a way which no one else can.

How do you feel when you are looking after yourself? When you are tender, loving and super caring of yourself, how do you feel?

Many of us have foregone this ability, and instead have opted to take on this role for others.

But this begs the question: how can we support others if we are not first supporting ourselves? When flying, the flight attendants advise to ‘put your oxygen mask on first’, lest we suffocate and then are unable to actually support anyone, including ourselves!

So what does self-support look like?

It can be as simple as drinking a glass of water when we are thirsty, or putting on a jumper when we feel the cold.

Society, and women in particular, have been told what self-care is to look like: go to the spa, take a bath, indulge in (your choice). But is this true self-care?  Is this true self-support? Taking a bath once a week whilst you take on another’s worry and frustration is not true care.

True care stems from a place deep within. It is a caring that we have for ourselves, from a place of being settled in the knowing of what it is that we bring to the world, and how precious that actually IS. It is a value we place on ourselves, our bodies, and what we bring to others.

True self-support is simple and it involves an intimate level of care that we can only bring to ourselves.  

For example: how do we brush our teeth? Do we rush to ‘get it over with’ because it’s just something we ‘have to do’, or do we take care and brush in gentleness? I know I still get caught out sometimes with this one, as my dentist has reminded me many times!  How do we shower, dress ourselves, do our laundry, exercise or even go to the loo?  Do we do these things out of function, ie: ‘it has to be done’, or do we bring a care and a focus to the movements we make so they are gentle and caring of self? Do we care for our body in the preciousness that it is, knowing it is the one thing we have in this life that needs to remain healthy for the duration of our life?

Do we exercise hard or harshly, or do we exercise knowing we need to care for this body, this vehicle of ours in which we live within?

Do we beat ourselves up with thoughts of self-denigration, or be harsh on ourselves when we make a ‘mistake’? Or do we value our ‘mistakes’ and see them as life lessons, as perhaps a signal we may need to change a way of being ourselves or with others?

Ways of self-support can be as simple as going for a walk outside when you feel you need to. Or calling a friend for support when you are going through a tough time. Or eating when you are hungry, or having a lie down when you feel you need to. Or seeking professional support when needed, instead of thinking you can ‘tough it out’ on your own. It is also about being settled in the fact of the gifts you bring to the world, and how your very presence and care with someone can inspire them!

Our bodies are delicate. We are delicate beings. We all know this, as the body can be easily harmed. We can get a cut and bleed quite easily.  At our core, we are gentle and delicate beings. ‘Toughing it out’ does not support our tender delicacy. And this applies for both men and women alike, despite the ideals of what men should be in life.

We all deserve to be treated with tender care and that care must begin with how we treat ourselves first.